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TIME TO WALK AWAY

'Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from.' Vernon Howard

It's so easy to find reasons to stay...in an unhappy marriage, a job that makes you miserable, a city that doesn't feel like home, a house you don't love or even just in a friendship that doesn't bring you joy. One of my favourite poets, David Whyte says 'anything or anyone that does not bring you alive, is too small for you' and I agree with him.

Life really is short. As you get older, time seems to slip by more and more quickly and without some attention, you can find yourself still in the same place that you promised you'd escape five years earlier.

Even small situations that you tolerate play a significant role in your life. It's important that you know what is draining you of energy and even more importantly, once you've identified it, that you walk away.

This is not to say that whenever the going gets tough, you immediately bail out. Every role, every relationship and every situation in life will have its rocky patches and there's something to be said for the beauty that you experience once you have worked your way through a difficult time. But there's a delicate balance between staying and going. Sticking something out because you know in your heart it's inherently good is valuable. Staying because you're fearful of what else is out there is not.

If you read the subject line of the newsletter and felt your heart beat a little bit faster, you know what you need to do. Maybe you're not ready to tackle the most significant issue to begin with but build your courage by starting with something that feels manageable. Taking a small step will be a symbolic part of the process of building your confidence. And keep reminding yourself, you will never know what's possible if you stay.

Make a promise to yourself that you'll get out before the end of this year and do something about it as soon as you finish reading this.

• Make a phone call
• Diarise a meeting
• Write out your plan
• Book a holiday
• Resign (yes, really!)
• Or do one thing that signifies your commitment to change

Finally, live your life by Cheryl Richardson's mantra (as I do) which is - 'pass up good, for great'.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

I've walked away from so many jobs in my lifetime that sometimes the people around me have considered me flippant. I always use my instinct as a guide...if something doesn't feel right, I know I need to go.

There was a time many years ago when I just couldn't find the right role. I remember my sister saying to me 'you can't be this fussy!'. But I was (and still am). I'm not afraid of hard work but I know when I'm in the wrong place. Back then I persisted and eventually found a role that I stayed in for almost ten years. It was right for me and it was well worth the five others that I'd ditched to find it!

These days I use the same instinct to guide me in business. If I'm offered work that doesn't feel right, I decline. If I find myself in a business relationship where I feel a sense of disquiet, I walk away. I've learned to have faith that there will be something better just around the corner...and there always is.

We are happy for you to reproduce our articles as long as they remain intact and contain the author's details as follows:

'Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and speaker. She works with professional people who want to enhance their quality of life by making the right career and life choices. You can find Kate at www.totalbalance.com.au.'