FINDING
HAPPINESS
'Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always
just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down
quietly, may alight upon you.'
Nathaniel Hawthorne
I spent two days in Sydney last week attending the
'Happiness & Its Causes' conference. They were two days that
were very gratifying - partly because there on the stage
were speakers whose works I had been reading for many years
but also because of the diversity of the information about
happiness on offer.
The presenters ranged from scientists to Buddhist monks;
from journalists to psychologists, each looking at what
makes us happy from a slightly different perspective. Maybe
not surprisingly, the findings were pretty consistent.
The pursuit of happiness is quite possibly the most common
universal goal yet many of us go about finding it in the
wrong way. And even when we know where real happiness can be
found, it can be difficult to change our habits and
behaviours consistently enough to maintain that pursuit.
What came out of the conference was mostly commonsense but
for someone like me who likes tangible evidence to support
the findings, it was satisfying to hear the research results
to back this up.
Here are the key findings:
Happiness isn't about having more money. Researchers have
found that once you reach a point of being able to live
reasonably comfortably (and in dollar terms this is
surprisingly low) your happiness won't increase with a
bigger income.
Happiness is about creating good relationships. The research
suggests that married people are, for the most part, happier
than people who are not in long term committed
relationships. But it was also noted that creating good
relationships in other areas of your life and feeling a
sense of belonging is an important factor in happiness.
Giving to others makes you happy. The evidence suggests that
your happiness levels will increase more by doing something
for someone else than for yourself. The only catch to this
is that your 'giving of yourself' must be genuinely
authentic to have a positive impact on your happiness.
Changing the way you think can make you happier. Martin
Seligman is the wonderful man behind the Positive Psychology
movement and his work supports the idea that optimism can be
learnt. His simple interventions are designed to teach
people to focus on their strengths rather than their
weaknesses. The research suggests that recrafting your role
so you engage your top strengths can immediately improve
your job satisfaction.
People who meditate are happier. Scientists conducted
research on long term meditators and found elevated activity
in the right prefrontal cortex of the brain - the area
associated with joy, happiness and peace of mind - not only
during meditation but also afterwards. An added bonus was
that meditators had stronger immune systems so they were
generally in better physical health.
Finding meaning and purpose in your life increases
happiness. This is maybe the thing that resonates most for
me. Before I began my coaching career I had long felt that
something was missing in my life. I wanted to do something
that I felt would make a difference. My work is now an
integral element in my happiness.
It's worth taking some time to reflect on what it is that
brings meaning to your life. You may find it helpful to
listen to the Meaning of Life hypnosis MP3 available under
'Your Development' at
http://www.totalbalance.com.au/hp.htm
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