In the first chapter of Susan Jeffers' book 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' she says the following:

'Whenever we take a chance and enter unfamiliar territory or put ourselves into the world in a new way, we experience fear. Very often this fear keeps us from moving ahead with our lives. The trick is to feel the fear and do it anyway.'

Susan suggests that whilst fear may look and feel like a psychological problem in most cases it's not - it's an educational problem.

Her book (which I highly recommend) is all about re-educating your mind to teach yourself that fear is simply a part of life - and that with practice, we can all deal with it.

The most significant life changes occur when people step away from what is familiar and comfortable. I've talked a lot in earlier newsletters about being courageous and taking the first steps toward change. Fear is the emotion that often stands in the way for people when it comes to choosing something better in their lives.

The underlying feeling connected with fear is that we won't be able to handle the impact of whatever it is that we fear. If you fear public speaking, on the surface, you fear making a fool of yourself in front of a group of people. But when you look more deeply, what you really fear is that you won't be able to bear the feelings that you're left with if that happens. That you won't be able to bear the thought of people thinking badly of you.

If you fear changing jobs or leaving an unhappy relationship, on the surface you may fear that you won't find anything that will make you any happier. And again, you fear that you won't be able to handle the impact of that.

This simplistic approach isn't intended to undermine the significant part that genuine anxiety plays in some people's lives - if you feel overwhelmed by a pervading sense of anxiety or fear it's important to talk to a professional about how to manage that.

But if your fear is more specifically 'fear of fear itself' or fear that you won't be able to handle the discomfort that is usually associated with an activity that evokes fear, consider scaring yourself just a little to help build a belief in your ability to handle anything that comes your way.

•             If you fear public speaking, begin by speaking up more in social situations to develop your confidence.

•             If you fear making a fool of yourself, do something intentional like wearing your t-shirt inside out for a day to observe the real impact of looking silly.

•             If you fear change, drive to work a different way or alter your routine in a way that makes you slightly uncomfortable.

One the things I was adamant about when I started my business was that I would NEVER do any public speaking.

It was around six months before someone approached me to come into their organisation to speak to their staff about work life balance and in keeping with my desire to please, I said yes. (I'm gradually getting a bit better at saying no...).

I have to say, I wasn't much good. I did many presentations over the next few years and some were okay but none really left me feeling that I'd found a way to overcome my overwhelming fear of speaking. I wanted so badly to stop altogether but I had this nagging feeling that if I let this get the better of me, I'd feel like I'd failed in some way.

In the middle of last year I joined Toastmasters. I found the experience to be invaluable. In a completely supportive environment, I was thrown in the deep end. On the first night, I was asked to do a 'Table Topic' speech - where you have no preparation. It was nerve wracking to say the least. But at the end of the night when the awards where handed out, to my complete amazement I won best speaker!

That night was a gift. None of the people there would ever know that they had given me my voice. They gave me the courage to speak in a way that came naturally to me.

These days I speak more often. I still get nervous occasionally but I take pride in the fact that I do it at all and I feel good that it no longer feels like the most terrifying fear in the world.