(AND START SETTING SOME GOALS THAT WORK)

This month's newsletter is written by Total Balance Group's Queensland Associate, Trish Weston. If you'd like Trish to help you achieve your goals this year, drop us a line and we'll organise an appointment for you.

I have a piece of paper on the wall next to my desk. It has a list of twelve items on it with the words "What Trish will do in 2006". As I skimmed down the list recently, not only was I struck by how infrequently I take things down from my walls, but also how New Year's Resolutions just don't work for me. Perhaps a more appropriate title for my list may be "What Trish will not get anywhere near completing in 2006". Sure, I may have strummed a few chords on my guitar in 2006 - but I didn't learn how to put those chords together in a way that doesn't harm the neighbours. Not really heartening stuff hey?

And apparently I'm not alone. According to research in the US (that most aspirational of cultures), only 15 to 20 percent of people achieve what they set out to do on January 1. In terms of strategies, I'd say this one isn't very effective. And yet every year, as we nurse heavy heads or feelings of being out of touch with our inner party animal, many of us participate in this ritual that usually makes us feel like we're failures.

You see, New Year Resolutions don't take into account how we change. We blindly believe on every January 1 that just by saying it ("Lose weight", "Stop smoking", etc) we will make it so. Our conscious thoughts can be powerful things but they usually need a little help. So, if you're really interested in changing some part of your life and, this time, you want it to actually happen, then I challenge you to ditch the resolutions and start setting some goals.

Now, don't get me wrong - I think the first of the year is a fine time to sit down and take stock of where we are in our lives, to acknowledge the great things that have happened in the previous 12 months, perhaps give some consideration to how we'd do things differently if faced with some of the choices that gave us grief, and ask the question: What do I really want?

What we do with that information will make the difference in whether we keep treading water in the ocean of our lives - or swim to the shore, or swim out to the great break.

So what's the difference between goals and resolutions?

Goals are about action
You can say you want to make a million bucks this year, but until you get off the couch and do something, then it probably ain't going to happen. Goals describe what you will be doing when you have achieved your intention - often quite specifically in a way that can be measured. You will be left with no doubt whether you attained it or not.

Goals have feedback built into them
You need to know if you are on track, or whether you need to change your strategy. And often the best way to do this is through the goal having a measurable component (such as "I will be exercising for 40 minutes a day, 3 days a week") or even having people you can ask "Do you think this looks right?"

Goals create a path of "least resistance"
Goals have followup, support structures and excitement built into them so that you can actually achieve them. They acknowledge and work with the "path of least resistance" which is your "natural" way of doing things and you thus encounter less obstacles. And goals have a support structure that pulls you toward them. This may be the way you structure your day or prioritise or it may be having people around you to encourage you as you make changes.

Goals are short-term, long-term and changing
Your goals will be with you for the entire 12 months. You will be visiting them regularly (sometimes daily, at least monthly) to see whether you're still on track. Shock of all horrors, they may actually change over that twelve months as you realise that you didn't really want to be a concert violinist at all, you wanted to be the 23rd member of The Cat Empire. Or they may change in other unexpected ways - you may not want to be concerned about your dress size anymore but rather to have a healthy body.

Goals are positive
Goals that work are positive and things that you want rather than don't want. For example, you may wish to leave your job but your goal will be focused on identifying and attaining a job that you actually really enjoy.

Goals are tangible
Goals are specific and tend to be something you can measure (so you know when you get there). When you set goals for yourself - not your partner, your mother or your boss - you get the payoff everytime. Goals have a time-frame so you know when and if and what you've got to do to achieve them this month or this year.

Goals challenge you
Goals are challenging (just out of your reach) but also not too far so you always have the belief that you can achieve it. Goals acknowledge what you've got to learn along the way. So you may have a long-term goal of finding a partner who you love to be with, but perhaps before that happens you'll need to address your confidence in meeting new people generally.

Goals keep you in motion
Goals build your confidence by gradually moving you toward what you want rather than the 'sink or swim' approach. They acknowledge where you're at, your skills, your beliefs and what really has to change. They are ongoing. You revisit them every week, every month and they change and grow with you.

Your goals reflect what's most important to you in life
They are in line with what's important to you - your values - so if love and family are what matters most then you've got to set work goals that support this.

So this year, don't set yourself up for failure by talking about resolutions you know you'll give up on after two weeks of suffering. Bring your resolutions to life right now by setting some goals.