MAKING PEACE

'When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.' Peace Pilgrim

With so much uncertainty in the world, our most important objective at this time of year must surely be to create peace wherever we can.

The reality is that by the time December comes around many of us are feeling a bit burnt out...and we're really just counting down the days until we have a break.

Although the spirit of Christmas is supposedly imbued with love and giving, it can also be a time fraught with tension. Differences of opinion about what makes Christmas enjoyable can escalate into personal and family disagreements and even before the day, we begin to feel that the whole experience is something of a burden.

Then we judge ourselves harshly for the fact that we still haven't found a way to create harmony at Christmas time and the lead up loses much of its magic.

Maybe we could see this time of year in another way - as an opportunity to make peace not only with those around us but more importantly, with ourselves.

Rather than focusing on the negatives, look for the things that you value in each of your relationships and acknowledge what is going well in your life.

Gathering evidence that life is good:

• Write down three qualities that you value about each of the significant people in your life
• Note down the things you've done this year that you're proud of (include even the smallest things)
• Write a letter to the person you're most challenged by at the moment, thanking them for something of value they did for you at some point in your life. If you're feeling really generous, turn up on their doorstep with it and read it to them. I can guarantee you that no other Christmas gift will be better received!
• Start a list that is titled 'I'm grateful for...' and add three things to it every day for the rest of the month. Stick it somewhere you can read it each morning.
• Adopt the role of peacemaker by looking for the good in everyone around you...including yourself.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

I'd love to be able to say that I'm one of those people who find the whole Christmas experience nothing but a joy but sometimes that's not entirely true.

By the end of the year, like most people, I'm feeling a little exhausted and I'm looking forward to a break. The busier I get in my business, the less organised I tend to be in my personal life (I'm a long way from perfect...). This year I've found myself rushing around trying to squeeze in the time to buy gifts and feeling that there were so many people to catch up with that I didn't quite find time for.

Thankfully there are still some rituals I anticipate with great pleasure. Now that the girls are older we go shopping so that they can have a say in what they get for Christmas. I take each of them separately and we make an occasion of it - stopping for something to eat and taking plenty of time. This is a big thing for me because as a rule, I can't stand shopping and generally avoid it at all costs!

And I love the day we get our tree delivered and the pleasure the girls take in decorating it. There's nothing I enjoy as much as sitting in the dark with only the tree lights illuminating the room, enjoying the silence and the fragrance of pine needles as I anticipate a couple of weeks of rest with nothing to concern myself with but which book to read next.

I hope that you too have some time to put your feet up in the coming weeks and do whatever it is that restores your soul.

Thanks for your ongoing support and for your warm responses to the newsletter each month. I wish you all a peaceful and happy Christmas.

We are happy for you to reproduce our articles as long as they remain intact and contain the author's details as follows:

'Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and speaker. She works with professional people who want to enhance their quality of life by making the right career and life choices. You can find Kate at www.totalbalance.com.au.'